HOW-TO: Carpet your data center

By mike 1 Hardware ,

Earlier today we announced the changes to our data center – you can read about that here.

Now we are getting some feedback:

How did you do it?

Why did you do it?

Why not shag?

Those purple stripes clash with my servers, wtf?

So, onward we go, with help from an office mate who wishes to remain anonymous; let’s call him Nick.

There are many advantages to carpeting your data center.

  • Carpet provides a stable, and smooth tract for chair races.
  • It extends the comfort and warmth of home to your colocation customers.
  • Creates a comfy environment for your servers to do their work.
  • Most importantly, carpet protects your storage drives from dangerous Vibration Propagation, a problem that can slowly destroy your data and create unusual disk latency (movie included in link).

NOTICE: A poorly carpeted data center can be worse that no carpet at all. So make sure you do it right the first time!

Materials needed (in no particular order):

  • Cut-Pile or Frieze Carpet, Berber is acceptable if you pick the right pattern – we like stripes. Do not use carpet from your grandma’s house, you’ll have to replace it in a couple decades. Also, do not use shag as chair races will be virtually impossible, and it encourages spontaneous, vigorous interpersonal events, (SVIE) which can really hamper productivity, and it is ugly.
  • Carpet knife, sharp
  • Quality Padding. The key to preventing Cascade Concussive Collisions during fore-mentioned chair races, and helps in the vibration dampening (please see the video linked above as to the horrors of high noise environments on your disk drive spindles)
  • Lots of static strips. You’d be surprised how fast you’ll go through them
  • Pulleys and rope for elevating existing cage, cabinet material
  • Seam tape
  • Carpet glue, gallons
  • A mule
  • Cherry wood molding, classy
  • A good attitude!

Now to get the work done (in particular order):

  1. Lay out the data center floor plan, VISIO, OmniGraffle, graph paper and pencil using an AD&D dungeon manual 4th edition or later. Correct preparation and planning is key to data center carpet deployment.
  2. Vacuum
  3. Make sure that you remove any existing molding along the walls before starting
  4. Attach pulleys to wire laddering, and SLOWLY lift each cabinet and cage wall. MAKE SURE NOTHING IS TOUCHING THE FLOOR, not even the mule
  5. Apply glue liberally to data center floor
  6. Lay down carpet pad, make sure it is flush with the data center walls
  7. Lay out the carpet in strips, apply seam tape to abutted carpet seams, this is very important
  8. Lower cabinets and cage material SLOWLY avoid lateral friction with new carpet, don’t forget the mule
  9. Install the new molding
  10. ENJOY!

FAQ

Q) Why wouldn’t I use Linoleum or Pergo flooring?

A) It’s a fact that Pergo enhances Vibration Propagation. Linoleum looks tacky.

Q) Are pulleys necessary?

A) Yes, they redirect the force of you pulling on a rope, allowing to lift with gravity on your side.

Q) have a Roomba.

A) That’s not a question, but good for you, now you have a clean data center.

Q) Will carpet help with SAS70 Compliance?

A) It doesn’t hurt.

Q) Isn’t there an issue with static build up?

A) Not if everything is grounded properly, moron.

Q) In the instructions (in particular order), you don’t mention how you removed the old carpeting, why is that?

A) Uhm, we’ll get back to you…

Caution: Do not describe what you’re doing as laying carpet, that… that doesn’t go well.

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